


a thing disproved

by WitchoftheWaste



Category: Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare, Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Drabble, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magnus has some self-esteem/self-worth issues, Magnus is a baby who needs to be protected but also can't deal with his emotions right now, Series Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-25 08:00:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6186745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WitchoftheWaste/pseuds/WitchoftheWaste
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus has found out about the marriage and he is not dealing. At all. Luckily, an old friend pays him a visit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a thing disproved

**Author's Note:**

> This is a bit of a blend of show!verse and book!verse. Basically, Magnus mentioned Tessa in episode four, so I'm assuming/hoping/pretending she's in New York, and can take the time to come and sort Magnus out. 
> 
> There isn't much resolution, but I like to think it ends on a hopeful note. Kind of? 
> 
> As always, this is unbeta'd, so any mistakes are my own.

Magnus was being melodramatic. He was old enough to be fully aware of the fact, and he had just enough childishness left for him not to want to stop any time soon.

He was collapsed across his sofa, the remains of a smashed shot glass on the floor beside him. In his lap lay a volume of poetry, battered, but a first edition nonetheless. Will would have been so proud.

But this was about Alec. Of course it was about Alec. Wasn't everything now? He had been so horrifically apologetic when he had told Magnus about the marriage. Magnus didn't know why, but there was something about Alec _apologising_ for following duty that made him furiously angry. He hated himself for being angry. Alec was being reasonable, after all. Magnus had told him to follow his heart, and it wasn't his fault that his heart told him to get the hell away.

Magnus hated himself for being so _petty_ and childish and - God, but the thing he hated most was that he had allowed this to happen. He thought he had learnt his lesson. Was there something so attractive about heartbreak? And when had he given Alec such tremendous power over him that he was capable of reducing Magnus to a quivering wreck of emotions? Because he didn't remember giving him license to do that. 

His thoughts were interrupted by the door of his apartment opening. Honestly, who didn't knock?

'I'm in the middle of a very reasonable fit of wallowing,' he said without looking up. 'We are not at home to visitors.'

An all too familiar voice greeted him. Not Alec though. Of course. Of course it wasn't Alec. Why would it be? 'Are you using the royal 'we' on me now, Magnus? I think we've known each other long enough for that not to be necessary.'

He did glance up at that. There she was, in frayed jeans and a grey jumper. She had always liked grey. 'Tessa. Why are you here?'

'Because you're wallowing,' she said calmly.

And something irrationally resentful consumed him again, a poisonous burning bitterness. He didn't want to ask why she was here or tell her it was dangerous or all the other things that he would normally have said; he just wanted to punish her for being so calm, and he knew it was stupid and he hated himself, but the words were forming in his head already, spilling out before he could stop them.

'Go away.'

Tessa just sighed and sat down next to him. 'You know that won't work.'

'Fine then. Listen to this,' he looked down at the book in his lap. ' _We had grown as gods, as the gods above,_   _Filled from the heart to the lips with love.'_ He laughed. It sounded hollow even to him. 'What a lie.'

Tessa only smiled softly, and he wished she wasn't so damn calm. 'Magnus, we're not gods. We are immortals with very human hearts.' She paused, and he saw a shadow pass over her eyes before she shook it off. 'Swinburne, isn't it? Will used to call him sentimental.' And Magnus hated the way his chest ached, because she smiled so sadly, with such love in her eyes. Damn her. Damn Alec. 

He skipped ahead in the book and continued, without replying, ' _Soul to soul while the years fell past;'._

He was rewarded with a pained expression from Tessa. After all these years, her eyes could still flood with tears. And he was pleased, because that had been his intention, and he wanted to hit himself with the book, because he was horrible and vulnerable and cruel.

'Stop, Magnus. You're hurting yourself just as much as me.' Tessa sounded choked, but she got the words out.

But he had to say these last words; they were haunting him. ' _Had you loved me once, as you have not loved; Had the chance been with us that has not been.'_ Now he was the one who had tears in his eyes, and it was too late to hide them because Tessa was hugging him suddenly. _No, don't,_ he wanted to scream. _If you hug me, I'll really cry this time._ But he felt the wetness on his cheeks and the burn in his chest and he knew he'd gone too far to turn back.

So he gave up the pretence, and just breathed in the lavender scent of her jumper and sobbed. Their positions were awkward, but it didn't matter. 'I don't know why I hoped - I'm sorry for what I said; you know I didn't mean it; I just didn't expect - I was so stupid - no, don't be nice to me; I'll get over it, I'll be fine.' He poured it all out into the soft fabric, not really caring if she understood or that he was baring his heart to the wrong person.

'We'll fix it,' she said into his hair, and for a tiny moment, he believed her.

**Author's Note:**

> The title and the quotations are all from the same poem: The Triumph of Time by Swinburne. 
> 
> This is sort of inspired by what Harry Shum Jr said on AfterBuzz TV about how Magnus will react to the marriage. And I just finished rereading Clockwork Prince for the thousandth time, so I had to work poetry in there somehow. 
> 
> I eat kudos and comments - and I missed my tea today, so an extra helping would be useful.


End file.
